Intimate Violence: Warning Signs

POSSIBLE WARNING SIGNS OF VIOLENT RELATIONSHIPS

  • Extreme jealousy
  • Controlling behavior
  • Quick involvement
  • Unrealistic expectations - perfect mate
  • Isolation
  • Blames others for problems and feelings
  • Hypersensitivity
  • Cruelty to animals
  • Playful" use of force during sex
  • Verbal Abuse
  • Rigid sex roles
  • Dr. Jeckyll and Mr. Hyde
  • *Past Battering
  • *Threats of violence
  • *Breaking or striking objects
  • *Any force during an argument

ASSESSING WHETHER A BATTERER WILL KILL

While it is true that all batterers are dangerous, some are more likely to kill than others, and some are more likely to kill at specific times. Regardless of whether there is a protection from abuse order in effect, officers should evaluate whether an assailant is likely to kill his partner or other family members and/or police personnel and take appropriate action.

Assessment is tricky and never foolproof. It is important to conduct an assessment at every call; no matter how many times an officer has responded to the same household. The dispatcher and responding officer can utilize the indicators described below in making an assessment of the batter's potential to kill. Considering these factors may or may not reveal actual potential for homicidal assault. But, the likelihood of a homicide is greater when these factors are present. The greater the number of indicators that the batterer demonstrates or the greater the intensity of indicators, the greater the likelihood of a life threatening attack.

Use all of the information you have about the batterer, current as well as past incident information. A thorough investigation at the scene will provide much of the information necessary to make this assessment. However, law enforcement will not obtain reliable information from an interview conducted with the victim and perpetrator together, or from the batterer alone.

 

  • Threats of homicide of suicide. The batterer who has threatened to kill (ex) partner, himself, the children or her relatives must be considered extremely dangerous.
  • Fantasies of homicide or suicide. The more the batterer has developed a fantasy about who , how, when, and/or where to kill, the more dangerous he may be, The batterer who has previously acted out part of a homicide or suicide fantasy may be invested in killing as a "solution" to his problems.
  • Weapons. Where a batterer possesses, collects, or is obsessed with weapons and/or has used them or has threatened to use the in the past in his assaults on women, the children or himself, increases his potential for lethal assault, If a batterer has a history of arson or the threat of arson, fire should be considered a weapon.
  • "Ownership" of the battered partner. The batterer who says "Death before Divorce!" or "You belong to me and will never belong to another!" may be stating his fundamental belief that the woman has no right to life separate from him. A batterer who believes he is absolutely entitled to his females partner, her services, her obedience and her loyalty, no matter what, is likely to be life endangering.
  • Centrality of the partner. A man who idolizes his female partner, or who depends heavily on his to organize and sustain his life, or who has isolated himself from all other community, may retaliate against a partner who decides to end the relationship. He rationalizes that her "betrayal" justifies his lethal "retaliation."
  • Timing. When a batterer believes that he is about to lose his (ex) partner or when he concludes that she is permanently leaving him; if he can't envision life without her, this may be when he chooses to kill. That is not to say that all batterers kill when they conclude that the battered woman is separating from him. Some kill long before they have any idea that the battered woman may be thinking about leaving. So, it is not safe to assume that because she hasn't made plans to leave that the batterer will not be dangerous. In one study of spousal homicide, over half the men were separated from their victims when they murdered them (Bernard et al, 1982). Women are most likely to be murdered when attempting to report abuse or to leave an abusive relationship (Sonkin et al, 1985; Browne, 1987).
  • Depression. Where a batterer has been acutely depressed and sees little hope for moving beyond the depression, he may be a candidate for homicide ad suicide. Research shows that many men who are hospitalized for depression have homicidal fantasies directed at family members.
  • Access to the battered woman and/or to family members. If the batterer cannot find her, he cannot kill her. If he does not have access to the children, he cannot use them as a means of access to the battered woman. Careful safety planning and police assistance are required for those times when contact is required, e.g. court appearances and custody exchanges.
  • Repeated intervention by law enforcement. Partner or spousal homicide almost always occurs in a context of historical violence. Prior intervention by the police indicates elevated risk of life threatening conduct.
  • Escalation of risk taking. A less obvious indicator of increasing danger may be the sharp escalation of personal risk undertaken by a batterer; when a batterer begins to act without regard to the legal or social consequences that previously constrained his violence, chances of lethal assault increase significantly.
  • Hostage-taking. A hostage-taker is at high risk inflicting homicide. Between 75% and 90% of all hostage-takings in the U.S. are related to domestic violence situations.
  • History of antisocial behavior. A batterer who has demonstrated aggressive behavior to the general public such as bar fights, gang related violence, job related violence, vandalism, repeated unlawful behavior, or illegal occupation is likely to be more dangerous.
  • Drugs and alcohol. Men with a history of problems with drugs and/or alcohol show a higher risk. In addition, regardless of their drug and/or alcohol history, intoxication at the time of assault shows significant risk to partners.
  • Violence in his family of Origin. The more severe the violence either experienced personally, or observed, in the family of origin, the more the risk.
  • Cruelty to animals. Many battered women have testified to their experience with batterers who neglect or abuse pets, farm animals or wild animals, or for them or their children to do so. Consider this as a risk factor.