​​No one's situation is the same.
Whatever you choose is the right thing for you;
no one has the right to take control away from you.


Consider all stalking to be high risk. NEVER ignore stalking! If the stalker is a former intimate partner that was also abusive in the relationship, the potential for violence is high. Let anyone staying with you know about the stalking.

Give Notice

Tell the stalker that you are uncomfortable with their behavior and that you will notify the police if they continue. Don't make idle threats. If you say you're going to notify the police, do it.

Use the XYZ Formula to help you give notice.

X: The behavior that is making you feel uncomfortable
Y: How it is effecting you
Z: What you would like to have happen
(Example: When you keep calling me [X] it makes me feel very uncomfortable [Y] so do not call me again [Z].)

Notify Law Enforcement and/or University Officials:

Stalking should not be taken lightly. If nothing is done to break the stalking sequence it will generally continue.

If you are receiving phone calls, don't argue with the person. Simply tell the person not to call again or just hang up. They're looking for a reaction out of you, and if you don't give them the reaction they're looking for, they may stop. If calls persist screen the calls with voice mail.

Document Everything:

Write down everything that happens, when it happens, and what you did about it. It is important to record every detail, including who, what was said, witnesses, etc. For example, if you are getting repeated phone calls you would do something like this:

Date / Time: 01/02/2001
What Happened: Tom called, Jen witnessed
What I Did: I told him that I didn't want him to call anymore, and if he did I would call the police.

Date / Time:1/2/01 @ 6pm
What Happened: Tom called me again, Bill was in the room
What I Did: I told him not to call again and I contacted Officer Jones at MPPD and filed a police report.

Date / Time: 1/3/01 @ 7:04pm
What Happened: Tom called me again, Jen witnessed
What I Did: I told him that I was going to press charges against him. I went to MPPD and a police and filed a police report with Officer Jones and told them I would like to press charges.

Safety Plan if Intimate Partner

Before the police or university officials speak with the stalker, be sure you have a safe place to stay. This could be family, your residence secured, friends, or the university or community shelter.